Up in Heaven...

Happy Birthday to my daddy who is up in Heaven! For those of you who do not know, my dad went to be with our Lord and Savior on August 18, 2004. It was sudden and unexpected, but God was ready for my him.

I was, and still am, a daddy's girl. He was the most wonderful man I have ever known. He had a heart of gold. He was the most sensitive, giving, caring, and loving person I have ever met. I could talk to him about anything and everything. He had a very special way of making everything ok for me. It didn't matter what the situation was... he could make it ok. Never do I EVER remember him getting mad at me... not even when I backed into the garage door and crushed it! I will never forget that... I called him and said "Dad, what would you say if I backed into the garage?" His response: (lauging) "Well, I don't know... you already did it, didn't you?" When he got home, I just remember us standing on the driveway laughing. All he really wanted to know was how I managed to do it!

I miss my dad more than words can ever describe. When he went to Heaven that day, it was the most bittersweet day that I have ever experienced. I was so sad and lonely for him, but at the same time so happy for him... he was in Heaven with Jesus Christ... what could be better than that? Selfishly of course, I wanted him back. However, I soon realized that even if it were possible for him to come back I wouldn't let him. He is happier than I can imagine up in Heaven.

There have been many hard days... my college graduation. I remember sitting there looking around at everyone's families and wishing so badly that my daddy was there with my mom. My wedding... oh goodness. It was such a busy day, but not busy enough to not think how wonderful it would be if it was my daddy who was going to walk me down the isle. Anniston's arrival... oh how I wish my daddy could hold my precious Anniston Kate. I know he would be the best grandaddy in the world! Of course, all of these special days in my life made me miss my dad. But, what I have found is that it's those unexpected days... those days where I am driving down the interstate singing to the radio and all of the sudden... I want my daddy... just like a little girl. Those unexpected times, sometimes they are the hardest, I think. I knew I would miss my dad on my wedding day... I thought about it daily from the time I got engaged. But those random moments that are triggered my absolutely nothing... those are some of the hardest.

It makes me so sad to know that Anniston will never know him. It breaks my heart in two actually. She will never experience the most wonderful man that I have ever known except through pictures, videos and stories. She will never see his big smile or his sparkling blue eyes. She will never hear his contagious laughter or his magical voice. She will never feel his tight hugs. She will never be swept off her feet and dance with him in the kitchen. She will never hear him "call those hogs!" She will never taste his fudge or his homemade icecream. She will never crawl in his lap and watch cartoons with him. She will never hear him tell her that he "loves her bigger than the world." (My dad would always tell me and my mom that he "loved us bigger than the world.") This list could go on forever... but most importantly, she will never feel the unconditional love and support that he would have given her. But, she will know him...

She will know all about him, because I will tell her. I will tell her everything about him. I will also tell her that her grandaddy is in Heaven and that he is waiting to meet her one wonderful day! And she will know... that even though he is in Heaven and not here on Earth with us, HE LOVES HER!

Happy Birthday daddy! I miss you every single minute of every day. You will forever have a piece of my heart that belongs to you, and only you! I love you "bigger than the world!!!"