Up in Heaven...

Happy Birthday to my daddy who is up in Heaven! For those of you who do not know, my dad went to be with our Lord and Savior on August 18, 2004. It was sudden and unexpected, but God was ready for my him.

I was, and still am, a daddy's girl. He was the most wonderful man I have ever known. He had a heart of gold. He was the most sensitive, giving, caring, and loving person I have ever met. I could talk to him about anything and everything. He had a very special way of making everything ok for me. It didn't matter what the situation was... he could make it ok. Never do I EVER remember him getting mad at me... not even when I backed into the garage door and crushed it! I will never forget that... I called him and said "Dad, what would you say if I backed into the garage?" His response: (lauging) "Well, I don't know... you already did it, didn't you?" When he got home, I just remember us standing on the driveway laughing. All he really wanted to know was how I managed to do it!

I miss my dad more than words can ever describe. When he went to Heaven that day, it was the most bittersweet day that I have ever experienced. I was so sad and lonely for him, but at the same time so happy for him... he was in Heaven with Jesus Christ... what could be better than that? Selfishly of course, I wanted him back. However, I soon realized that even if it were possible for him to come back I wouldn't let him. He is happier than I can imagine up in Heaven.

There have been many hard days... my college graduation. I remember sitting there looking around at everyone's families and wishing so badly that my daddy was there with my mom. My wedding... oh goodness. It was such a busy day, but not busy enough to not think how wonderful it would be if it was my daddy who was going to walk me down the isle. Anniston's arrival... oh how I wish my daddy could hold my precious Anniston Kate. I know he would be the best grandaddy in the world! Of course, all of these special days in my life made me miss my dad. But, what I have found is that it's those unexpected days... those days where I am driving down the interstate singing to the radio and all of the sudden... I want my daddy... just like a little girl. Those unexpected times, sometimes they are the hardest, I think. I knew I would miss my dad on my wedding day... I thought about it daily from the time I got engaged. But those random moments that are triggered my absolutely nothing... those are some of the hardest.

It makes me so sad to know that Anniston will never know him. It breaks my heart in two actually. She will never experience the most wonderful man that I have ever known except through pictures, videos and stories. She will never see his big smile or his sparkling blue eyes. She will never hear his contagious laughter or his magical voice. She will never feel his tight hugs. She will never be swept off her feet and dance with him in the kitchen. She will never hear him "call those hogs!" She will never taste his fudge or his homemade icecream. She will never crawl in his lap and watch cartoons with him. She will never hear him tell her that he "loves her bigger than the world." (My dad would always tell me and my mom that he "loved us bigger than the world.") This list could go on forever... but most importantly, she will never feel the unconditional love and support that he would have given her. But, she will know him...

She will know all about him, because I will tell her. I will tell her everything about him. I will also tell her that her grandaddy is in Heaven and that he is waiting to meet her one wonderful day! And she will know... that even though he is in Heaven and not here on Earth with us, HE LOVES HER!

Happy Birthday daddy! I miss you every single minute of every day. You will forever have a piece of my heart that belongs to you, and only you! I love you "bigger than the world!!!"

Happy 2 Year Anniversary

Well, two years ago yesterday I walked down the aisle and married my best friend. That was such a magical day!!! I remember it like it was yesterday. I will never forgot the details of that day. It started off with me packing for our honeymoon because I had waited to the very last minute. Then going to get my hair done with Jessica and Annesley. Then going to Back Yard Burger for a little lunch hahah. Then it was time for pictures. Drew and I chose to see eachother before the wedding and that was so special for us. I still remember his face when we first saw eachother. It was a BEAUTIFUL day... close to 70 degrees outside! It was such a relief because it has been raining all week and it was cold! Then it was time to walk down the aisle. Of course, my nerves had kicked in full swing by this time!! However, I remember feeling so calm when we were saying our vows. It was as if we were the only people in the room. What a wonderful day it was. Our two year anniversay was not spent quite the way we had imagined... in a hospital room at ACH. However, it was a nice anniversay. We spent quality time with each other and our precious Anniston Kate. Anniston was feeling better, which made our day! Drew and I did get to go to dinner last night because his mom came and sat with her.

I just wanted to share a little bit about Drew and me. First of all, we are pretty opposite. It's really funny actually. He is very detail oriented, just not about the things that I am detail oriented about. If I ask him a question about something for example "Why does the lake turn?" I don't get a simple answer. It is almost always drawn out with specific scientific info. I usually am looking for a very simple answer. However, this explanation can go on for up to 20 minutes. I actually asked him this question one day and I was getting all of this info... I looked at him in mid-sentence and said "I think its because all of the fish get together and swim to one side of the lake and it causes the lake to turn". His facial expression was priceless. He says that he is horrified that I am going to tell our children those kinds of things! Of course, I didn't really think that but, by this time, I was on to a completely different thought. You will hardly ever hear us call each other by our full name. Drew ALWAYS calls me Ash... NEVER Ashley. In fact, if he called me Ashley it would literally stop me in my tracks because it would just be weird. Sometimes if he is talking to people he will say Ashley in conversation with them but that is literally the only time I ever hear my full name come out of his mouth! I call him Roo. This started way back when, when we were dating. I really don't know why. He wasn't real excited about it at first, but then one day I said "Hey Drew " and he said "Why did you call me Drew?" At that point it was evident that we would never call each other by our full names. It may be weird, but its us and I love it! Roo says that I, "Add color to his life." He says that I have a talent for thinking of things that he would NEVER think of in a million years. These thoughts just come natural to me hahaha. Drew does the laundry... yes I said it! He has a certian way that his shirts must be folded... annoying yes, but our t-shirts are NEVER wrinkled. I will admit that I can fold his way, but most of the time choose not to. It is basically because I hate folding to begin with and then having to take 3,893 minutes to fold one shirt gets on my last nerve! Therefore, I usually put the clothes in the washer and then in the dryer and he folds them. I am one lucky girl, I know!!! Overall, we have decided that our differences compliment each other. Yes, we have our occasional "disagreement," but who doesn't??? I love my husband very much and I know that he is God's gift to me! Happy 2 year Anniversary!

Poor Baby!!

My poor baby has gotten sick. It all started on Friday. I took her to the doctor and the doctor said she just had a viral cold and that we were just going to have to let it "run its course." Oh what a course it has been. By Sunday night she was sooooo much worse. It was awful. Anniston could not breath through her nose at all. This meant that she didn't eat and wouldn't sleep. She was miserable. I took her back to the doctor on Monday morning and they confirmed that she had RSV! YIKES!!! We came home and she was trying to take a nap, but was having trouble because she still couldn't breathe. I was told at the doctor's office to watch her breathing because sometimes this virus makes them have difficutly breathing. I glanced over at her several times and she seemed to be breathing hard. I walked closer and saw those little nostrils flarring and then noticed a sinking in under her ribs when she was trying to breathe. I immediately called Drew (who was still working) and told him that I was taking her to ACH. We arrived there and they decided to keep her for observation. I was relieved at this news! As you can imagine, my stress level was at an all time high!!!!! Monday night Drew and I shared a chair that pulled out as a bed. Let me tell you that it was about 3 feet wide. Therefore, we were the definition of spooning. However, we were both so tired that we both admitted the next morning that we slept really good! Tuesday was a better day for Anniston due to all of the suctioning that had taken place... poor thing! The doctors actually told us that we could go home on Tuesday, but Drew and I decided that we would like to stay one more day just to make sure Anniston was on the road to recovery. By Tuesday night we saw a glimpse of our little angel back to normal. She wanted to stay up and not go to sleep.... yep that's her! We came home today around lunch time. She still has a really bad cough, but overall she is feeling much better. ACH was such a life saver for us. All of the nurses and doctors were so nice and helpful! We are so glad that Anniston is feeling better! Drew and I want to thank everyone for praying for our sweet Anniston Kate!

Aloha

We just got back from a WONDERFUL vacation! We left on Wednesday the 7th and drove to Houston. We stayed with my grandmother that night and got up the next (which was my birthday!) to head to Honolulu. I was sooooo nervious about Anniston Kate flying for the first time. However, I am happy to report she did amazing! It really didn't seem to phase her at all. She was passed from my lap to Drew's lap to my mom's lap and then across the aisle to Drew's parents laps! Ha!! We had a great time while we were there. Anniston got to go swimming for the first time and she seemed to really like it! We got her a blowup fish that she could float around in... she was precious in it! We did have one problem while we were there... Anniston got her first stomach bug!!!! It was awful. I felt so bad for her. The good news is that she didn't seem to feel bad at all except for one night. I can gladly say that we are now over this bug! I will post pictures of our trip later on!

Anniston Kate~
Your first vacation was so much fun (minus the stomach bug). It was truly a family vacation! Both of your grandmothers and your grandfather came! It was extra special because you got to see both of your great grandmothers too! One of your great grandmothers lives in Hawaii, the other in Houston. You had a blast in the pool in your little floating duck. Mommy and Daddy pushed you every where in your stroller and you loved looking around at everyone. It was very hot some days and you would find yourself a little cranky from time to time... but who wouldn't?? Mommy found herself the same way a few times :) You really do not like the sun shinning in your face!!! You did wonderful on the airplane rides. In fact, on the way home from Hawaii you slept 6 hours!!! It was funny to see the peoples faces who were sitting next to us when they saw you!!! They were gearing up for a terrible plane ride. However, you showed everyone on that plane how sweet and wonderful you are! Mommy and Daddy can't wait to take you back there and get you your very own hula skirt!
I love you more than you will ever know!
Mommy

Anniston Update

I feel like Anniston is growing up so fast. In the last week, she has changed so much. She now holds her head up all by herself with little to no bobbles! She just looks around and you can actually see her neck now. She is not happy unless she is sitting up by herself. She doesn't even want to lean back on me. She wants me to literally either hold her under her arms or hold her hands and let her sit. It makes me so sad and so happy at the same time! She also wants to stand up all the time! Drew held her arms (mainly for balance) and she stood up all by herself. My baby is growing up already... I never thought at 2 1/2 months she would be doing this! She has also decided that she does NOT like riding in her carseat at night if she is in the back seat alone! This does not make for a good ride home for me from anywhere, unless Daddy or my mom is in the car with us! She has some very powerful lungs... like WOW!

This last Tuesday was Drew's birthday! We didn't do much for it because I had to go to Conway for class. But we are going to go out to eat for a belated celebration! Drew... you are a wonderful husband and father and we love you so very much!

2 Month Dr. Appointment

Tuesday was Anniston's 2 month dr. appointment. I was dreading that day so bad because she had to get her shots :( I couldn't watch, so Drew held her arms while she was laying on the table. Suprisingly, she only cried when they gave her the second one. The first one only made her look at Drew a little funny, like "what was that and why did you let her do that to me?" Anyway, she cried for a few minutes, but nothing like I had imagined. The shots didn't really seem to effect her much at all. The only thing I noticed is that she was a little more sleepy than usual. Little Miss Anniston Kate has grown like a weed! She was in the 50th percentile for weight in August. However, now she has jumped up to the 95th, thats right, 95th percentile in weight. She weighed in at a healthy 13 pounds 1 oz!!! I wasn't really suprised... she LOVES to eat! She was also in the 90th percentile for length... 23 1/2 inches long! What a growing girl we have!!! Drew and I are so thankful for this healthy little angel!

A Bug's Life

Drew and I have both nicknamed Anniston our little "bug." I have no clue why this nickname has stuck like it has, but for some reason it just fits! I wanted to write down some things that I want to remember about her first couple of months! She is such a blessing to us!
Her first month:

• She was born July 1, 2009 at 11:23 a.m.
• She weighed 6 pounds 14 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long
• She had a head full of dark hair
• We went to the doctor an insaine amount of times... eventually found on on July 18th she had reflux... Yuck!
• During her third week she spotted your animals that hang from her bouncer seat! She likes starring :)
• On July 29th (4 weeks) she grabbed her pacifier by the handle and took it our of her mouth.
• At four weeks she reached around my neck and held on to me... so sweet!
• She slept best in her swing until 8 weeks... we then graduated into the pack-n-play! YAY... such a big girl!
• She sleeps all night long.... ususally goes to be around 11 or 12 and gets up between 530 and 7 in the morning! Daddy ususally feeds her in the morning before he gets ready for work!
• During her 5th week she started cooing and now at 9 weeks she "talks" a lot!
• She smiles a lot... especially today! She has been smiling all the day long... so sweet!
• She likes to play in her jumper and will stay in for 10-15 minutes!
• She likes to cuddle, but sometimes she wants to lay flat on her back and kick!
• She enjoys her baths a lot! However, she does NOT enjoy getting her face or hair washed and she will let you know!
• The last weight that was taken on August 19th, she weighted 11 pounds 5 ounces!
• She is an absolute blessing to me and Drew.

Anniston Kate, mommy and daddy love you bigger than this world! God blessed us with you and we will always know that you are His gift to us!

Unbelievable! There really are no words!

So I just wanted to share what happened to me yesterday. Things that happen to me do not happen to most people. It's a fact, I am prone to weird and unusual things happening to me! So I got up early yesterday and went to the doctor because I knew that I had a sinus infection. I had all the signs... swollen face, ears hurt, stuffy nose, and sore throat. Anyway, I go to the doctor and of course he tells me that I infact do have a sinus infection. He literally spent 5 minutes or less in the room with me, which I didn't appreciate very much. However, in that 5 minutes he tells me that he is putting me on antibiotics and that "we were not going to mess around with this." I said ok, took the perscription and out the door I went. I called Drew to tell him what the doctor had said and to check on Anniston. Long story short, after lunch I took my first pill to get rid of this sinus infection.
I fixed Anniston a bottle and began feeding her when all of the sudden I felt sick to my stomach, like I was about to throw up! I kept thinking what am I going to do with Anniston if I get sick. I tried not to think about it and kept feeding her. When she finished her bottle, I put her down and layed down beside her. My stomach was getting worse and then all of the sudden I felt this rapid beating in my stomach. What was that? Surely, that is not my heart beat, I thought to myself. That is wayyyyyy to fast for my heart, but what else would be beating Ashley??? I got up took my blood pressure because of course I have a blood pressure machine... doesn't everyone?? ;) Well my blood pressure was 150/96 pulse 113!!!!! Seriously? What was this about? I felt horrible!!! I got my mom to keep Anniston and headed to the ER. Drew met me up there and sat with me all afternoon. Turns out... I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and it caused my heart to race like I had just run a marathon. Lovely I know, but just another example of my daily life!

*~* The Story of Anniston Kate Kurosaki *~*

It was November 4th 2008. I had not been feeling well for some time (3 weeks or so). If you know me, then you know that by now I had completely convinced myself that something was VERY wrong with me. I tend to be quite the over reactor. I am one of those people who constantly thinks something just might be wrong with me... awesome huh? Anyway, Drew's brother Jason got married on October 25 and we went up to Chicago for the wedding. This was when I really started feeling bad. I had noticed that I was very tired ALL the time... but it never occured to me that I could be pregnant. The night of the wedding Drew and I were dancing the night away at the reception when suddenly I thought uh oh... I am going to pass out right here, right now! I told Drew and he quickly got me to a window (we were upstairs). The October air at night in Chicago can be pretty chilly. Anyway I felt a much better after breathing in the cold air for a bit. We then went right back to dancing... still never even crossed my mind that I could be pregnant. I knew somthing was wrong but again in my little head it was something VERY serious! We got home on Monday the 27th, which was our 1 year anniversary. I didn't feel very good again... which was no suprise to me at this point.

Friday was Halloween. We attended a Halloween party Thursday night with some friends. It was lots of fun, but still I didn't feel good. Friday we decided to go to Fayetteville and see all of our friends up there. I didn't really feel like going at all, but I knew that Drew wanted to, so I didn't even bother to tell him that I didn't feel good. On the way up there we stopped at Burger King. I do love some fast food, so this was not a problem for me at all. However, I ate half of my hamburger and thought I was going to throw up everywhere. Again, didn't say a word just sat back and tried to enjoy the car ride up there. When we got there I was starving so Drew went up to the in and out down the street and got me some peanut butter crackers. Now if you know me at all, you know this is my staple... I eat it EVERY day.

After I ate the crackers all was well with me again. We went out with friends and had a great time! Saturday night rolled around and it occured to me that I was late for something! At dinner I told our good friend Huff that I was "Late for a very important date!" He said, "You're pregnant" and I said, "No I am not" and at that point truly meant it. Sunday rolled around and we drove home. That night while we were eating dinner, I got up to fill my water glass. Taking the 10 or so steps in took to get to the sink, my heart rate went up in the 90's. I could feel it about to jump out of my chest. I went and layed on the couch and of course began having a panic attack... lovely as always. I have these awful things some times for no reason whatsoever. It is always a real treat. Yet still no clue!

Monday the 3rd of November I woke up and thought.... hmmmm could it be. So I got up early and took a pregnancy test. Negative! Ok so now I KNOW something is wrong with me. I had class on Monday nights and so I had to drive to Conway that night. The next morning I woke up to Drew's phone call, he was at work and just wanted to chat. He was actually on his way to Hot Springs for a case (he works in sales). While I was talking to him, I thought I would take the 2nd pregnancy test. Why this occured to me to do this now I have no idea. Anyway, I was just talking away while doing this... he never had a clue. I put the test down and continued talking. I was really taking this test just to take it... not because I thought I was pregnant. Suddenly, I watch this line appear that I had never seen before. I kept looking at it while Drew was talking... no idea what he was saying and then it happened in the middle of his story... "Drew, I'm pregnant." That's right... no creative or cute way of telling him... I didn't even wait to tell him in person. The state of shock that I was in at this point can truly not be described in words... mainly because there aren't any to describe this kind of shock.
A little insight to our conversation at this point:
Drew: "No you're not."
Ashley: "Umm, yes I am I just took a test and I have NEVER seen that line before."
Drew: "Where did you get the pregnancy test from?"
Ashley: "Does that really matter? I got it at the Dollar Store."
Drew: "Are you kidding me... out of all the things that there are to be cheap on thats what you decide to buy at the Dollar Store. I can't believe this you don't buy anything from the Dollar Store ever and now you buy pregnancy tests from there?? You can't trust that test. Go get a real test from Walmart that has a namebrand."
Ashley: "Fine, but I don't think it matters."
(I go to the store and call him back)
Ashley: "Drew its official you are going to be a dad... I have taken 3 REAL tests."
Drew: and I qutoe... "huh" then silence. Then happiness and joy came over both of us and we were so excited! Clearly we were shocked because if you haven't guessed yet, we weren't trying. However, God had different plans for us and oh my how he has blessed us!

For the next 3 1/2 months I was soooooo sick. I couldn't eat meat at all... I mean not a bite. It made me sick to even think about it. All I could eat... you guessed it peanut butter crackers of course and soup. It was pretty much a constant battle until January to keep food down. The vitamins made it even worse! I threw up at restaurants, the mall, friends houses, etc... how attractive and fun. After the middle of January, I was able to gradually eat meat. However, I kept it to a minimum. Chicken didn't bother me by the end of my pregnancy, but steak was still touch and go. I lived on preggo pops during this time. Oh how I needed those pops... wouldn't leave the house with out them!

The rest of the pregnany went very well. I felt good and loved feeling her move around in my belly. Sometimes we would go back and forth with each other though. She would kick her foot out and I would push it back in and then here it would come again and then I would push it back again... you get the point. This became a daily thing for us ;) In June I began having signs of preeclamsia... fabulous huh! I was put on bed rest for two weeks and scheduled for an induction on July the 1st. However, I had to go to the hospital several times before the 1st due to high blood pressure that would not come down even though I was stuck laying on my left side 24/7. Drew joked saying that we would know every nurse before I had Anniston because we were up there so much . I didn't find the joke amusing at that point... hahaha.

June 30th finally rolled around, which was the day that I was scheduled to check in for my induction. That day is one I will never forget. I woke up that morning knowing that I was going to meet my little angel the next day. I went to Purple Cow and got a malt with my mom, which was so yummy! Then Drew came home and we loaded the car. We went to Tropical Smoothie and I got a Hawaiian Breeze smoothie... yummy too! We checked into the hospital at 7:30. My nurses name was Joe, which was special to me because that was my Daddy's name! For those of you who do not know, my Daddy is in Heaven. I know he was watching though! I carry him with me every where I go now... in my heart! They started the medicine to thin my cervix at 9p.m. I got another round aroud 1a.m. At this point I began having contactions.

The nurse came in and asked if I needed something for the pain. I told her if they wanted me to sleep, then most definitely. She gave me Statonal (however you spell that). It worked for a little bit, but by about 2 the contractions were worse. My mom was there, but decided she would go home at this point to check on the dogs. She told the nurse as she was leaving but that I needed more Statonal. Joe came in and gave it to me immediately. At some point during all of this I was given the lowest dose of pitocin too! This is where the ride began. Drew and I had just seen the movie The Hangover... which might I add may have been the funniest movie I have ever seen. Well anyway, the second dose of Statonal is what sent me overboard. I immediately started feeling... well like a crazy person. Everything was funny. I am not talking about a little laugh... I am talking everything was hysterical to me. You can imagine Drew's appreciation for this at 2:30 in the morning. I can remember laying in bed trying so hard not to laugh because Drew's dad was asleep on the couch (or so I thought, but who could really sleep through me hysterically laughing). I kept thinking don't laugh, don't laugh and then I would burst out lauging so loud at absolutly nothing. Drew would ask "What's funny?" I would reply "I have no idea... I know nothing is funny but I can't stop lauging." Drew would then say "Ash, you need to go to bed." I would of course just laugh... because that was funny to you know! I finally said... "Drew, Charlie (our next door neighbor) has a tiger (you will know exactly what I am talking about if you have seen the Hangover)... I then burst into big belly laughs. You can imagine Drew's response to this! Through out the night/early morning hours I had poor Drew walking me to the bathroom every five minutes or so it felt. He was so tired, bless his heart!

At 5 in the morning I tried to wake Drew up to of course... go to the bathroom. However, at this point I was unsuccessful... he was out! I then gathered up all my wires... unpluged what needed to be unplugged and some how made it to the bathroom all by myself! So proud I was!! And then it happened. I had made it back to the bed and was just about to fall asleep when I felt this gush of water come out... Did I really just pee on myself??? Really Ashley.... this was my first thought. Then 2 or 3 minutes later another gush. Oh my... my water had broken. I leaned over and began snapping my fingers and whispering "Drew wake up.... DREW WAKE UP. I was still trying not to wake up his dad! He finally opened his eyes and I said: "My water just broke." His response : "No it didn't Ash... its the medicine." Really... are you kidding me?? I continued telling him no its not the medicine and after he really woke up and realized what I was saying, he went to get the nurse.

I was right... my water had broken!!! A new nurse had taken Joe's place at this point. Her name was Heather and she was super nice too! Dr. Dean came in and gave me my epidural around 6 a.m. It wasn't as bad as I had imagined, but it still hurt. Dr. Taylor came in to check on me around 7a.m. I had dialated to 7 cm at this point. He told me he was going to go make his rounds and he would be back in time for Anniston's arrival... no worries. Well around 10:30 Heather told me to go ahead and start pushing because Anniston was now dropping down. She said not to worry that it would take several hours to get Anniston into the birth canal..... WRONG try 5 pushes literally! She told me that I was going to have to stop pushing and she was going to run and call the doctor. Umm this was not ok. I felt so much pressure at this point, I truly thought that I was going to explode! It was absolutely unbearable!

By now Drew, my mom and my life long friend Jessica were all in the room with me. I looked at all of them with big tears in my eyes and thought to myself that I was definitely going to explode. The pressure that I felt was unbelievable. I am talking she was right there. The nurse was pulling her hair and showing everyone that Anniston infact did have dark brown hair... TMI I know but that is how ready she was to come out! Dr. Taylor arrived around 11:15 and she was born at 11:23a.m. I think he may have been in there 3 or 4 minutes before she was born. It was an amazing experience and one that I will never forget. Anniston Kate Kurosaki was 6 pounds 14 ouces and 20 1/2 inches long. She was perfect! I fell in love with her immediately and so did her daddy! It was the happiest day of my life.

And there it is! The story of Anniston. I will tell about her next time!

Well Drew and I finally decided we would join the rest of the world and start a blog! I am trying to figure out how all of this stuff works :) Anyway, I will write more later... right now I am off to work out with Drew!